If you prefer to pour your own wine from a bottle you’ve ordered, indicate this to your server at the outset. Most waiters are not trying to upsell you more wine by keeping your glasses full. Maintaining proper wine levels is a hallmark of good service so don’t make us feel like we are slighting you. Rudely waving your hands over your stemware or repeatedly dismissing us when we are trying to fill your glass is unnecessary. If it bothers you to let the server control your wine levels, politely relieve him of his duties. A good waiter will alert the rest of the staff on the floor to avoid further encroachment. Be warned, though, that refusing service in this regard will often result in the waiter disengaging from your table. It sends out a message not only that you don’t value his services but are probably not the type of person who will tip generously.